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Firstly, a big thank you to Vic for setting up the call.
Keynote notes;
Lonely playlist https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0UQFcaGvBdUMi8Lz5s0gKl?si=cfb8cf533ab04de8
The Why
Impact – Individual
Harvard Grant Study – Social Connection is the #1 predictor of life satisfaction
Loneliness makes you 26% more likely to die;
Holt-Lunstad J, Smith TB, Baker M, Harris T, Stephenson D. Loneliness and social isolation as risk factors for mortality: a meta-analytic review. Perspect Psychol Sci. 2015 Mar;10(2):227-37. doi: 10.1177/1745691614568352. PMID: 25910392.
References to multiple studies showing link to improving recovery from Cancer
https://www.breastcancer.org/research-news/social-connections-linked-to-better-survival
Impact – Work
Article with links to studies showing improvement in wellbeing, performance and retention https://hbr.org/2019/12/the-value-of-belonging-at-work
Microsoft Work Index showing positive impact of strong work relationships
https://www.microsoft.com/en-us/worklab/work-friends
The way we work
Screens vs in-person
First review of the largest current longitudinal study on workplace loneliness with the following quote;
“Neuroscience research has found that only in-person interactions trigger the full suite of physiological responses and neural sychronisation required for optimal human communication and trust, and that digital channels such as video conferencing disrupt our process of communicative information.”
Knight, C., Olaru, D., Lee, J.-A., & Parker, S. (2022, May 2). The loneliness of the hybrid worker. MIT Sloan Management Review. Retrieved November 9, 2022, from https://sloanreview.mit.edu/article/the-loneliness-of-the-hybrid-worker/
Solutions
Societal awareness
· Loneliness a bodily function, just like hunger
· 1/3 of people in the western world are lonely
· It has a major impact on individuals, organisations and society (can lead to polarisation)
· How to spot the signs i.e.. awareness of loneliness loop – Quote from Brene Brown – “When we feel isolated, disconnected, and lonely, we try to protect ourselves. In that mode, we want to connect but our brain is attempting to override connection with self protection. That means less empathy, more defensiveness, more numbing, and less sleeping……Unchecked loneliness fuels continued loneliness by keeping us afraid to reach out”
Individual Change
· Brain Health – Exercise and Rest (sleep / meditation / quiet time) can help reorient reward centres to more healthy behaviour.
· Connect with yourself
Self-compassion
1) Recommended meditation (Chris Flack teaching a meditation via the free app Insight Timer) – https://insighttimer.com/chrisflack/guided-meditations/self-tonglen-compassion-considering-ourselves-with-two-aspects
2) Recommended learning (retreats) https://www.dzogchenbeara.org/
3) Recommended learning (books) – Conor Creighton – The Truth about Love https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0717194000/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_dp_T7HNYR437G3ZM57NHG12?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
4) A great app to help encourage compassion / empathy is DailyHaloha - https://dailyhaloha.com/
· Be kind to yourself
If you feel lonely find someone to talk to about it. Remember you are not alone, many people feel lonely, if no-one is available to chat then;
a) if in the UK, lots of resources listed at https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/feelings-and-symptoms/feeling-lonely/
b) if in Ireland goto www.text50808.ie (a free, anonymous, 24/7 messaging service providing everything from a calming chat to immediate support).
If seeking professional help, research suggests that Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is a good place to start.
· Individual change – Self Worth
If you think your friend /colleague is lonely
Don’t ask them if they want help
Ask them to help you
· Self Worth – A framework; volunteering
UK www.doit.life / Ireland www.volunteering.ie
· Self Worth – A framework; community groups
· Digital Habits
Social Media impact on mental health – Meier, Adrian & Reinecke, Leonard. (2021). Computer-Mediated Communication, Social Media, and Mental Health: A Conceptual and Empirical Meta-Review. Communication Research. 48. 1182–1209. 10.1177/0093650220958224.
· iPhone Effect study
Misra, S., Cheng, L., Genevie, J., & Yuan, M. (2016). The iPhone Effect: The Quality of In-Person Social Interactions in the Presence of Mobile Devices. Environment and Behavior, 48(2), 275–298. https://doi.org/10.1177/0013916514539755
· Increase friction with tech – Have an “UnPlug Zone” for small periods of time in certain rooms. For example, no devices in certain meetings.
· Decrease friction with humans – Try to remove all friction eg even airpods when walking passed others to enable a more open connection.
Organisational
· Organisational framework for change
Importance of “togetherness” in company culture
For example,
If you build it, they might come e.g. free food in the canteen
If they build it, they will come e.g. cooking classes for teams each quarter
· Firefighters that make food and eat together outperform colleagues
Kniffin, K. M., Wansink, B., Devine, C. M., & Sobal, J. (2015). Eating Together at the Firehouse: How Workplace Commensality Relates to the Performance of Firefighters. Human performance, 28(4), 281–306. https://doi.org/10.1080/08959285.2015.1021049
· Encourage Collaboration – Atlassian Performance Review based on Collaboration
https://qz.com/work/1671163/atlassians-new-performance-review-categories-weed-out-brilliant-jerks/
· Encourage Kindness – Cisco People Deal
· Importance of weak ties